Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Delicate


I will start with this. There are days when it seems impossible to focus on beautiful things. Or heartless, maybe. What kind of denial is that, to hide yourself in prettiness when you know what you know about this world? And yet those are the days I most need to hide. My only thought is that maybe it's not always denial. Maybe sometimes it's more like the opposite, when you agree to hold the hard things in one hand, and the beautiful in the other and refuserefuse—to deny either one.

I know I will keep hiding myself in what is good. I want to rest there, draw strength, share what I find with others—not in denial of what's hard, but in spite of it. 

Here’s one place I hid today:



Not in the actual place, but in the memory of it. By now everything in this picture is older, more uniform, less delicate. But the picture remains. The day I took it, the scene took my breath away. Green—all the many shades of it—takes my breath away. New glowing chartreuse, translucent lime green, fresh grass green, still water green, shadowy woods green, emerald leaves against a blue sky green. The variations are unending. Spring green isn’t a single color from the Crayola box, it is its own whole spectrum. Delicate, but vast.

Over and over I find myself drawn to what is delicate.

Delicate  [del’i-kat] adj fine in texture; fragile, not robust; requiring tactful handling; of exquisite workmanship; requiring skill in techniques.”

But here is what strikes me: something that grabs me, takes my breath away, changes for a moment how I see the world—what do you see in that?

I see power. Fragility and beauty and something-beyond-grasp that somehow equal power. The kind that surprises, sustains, holds the whole world together. This is where I want to stay.





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8 comments:

  1. "maybe it's not always denial" - maybe it is hope?

    That the beautiful and painful can co-exist, the one gives us hope in the face of the other.

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    1. To me it is hope, and absolutely a way to face the pain.

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  2. I love your thoughts...need to keep remembering what is beautiful and focus on those things.

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    1. Thank you! I've found it really important to keep turning in that direction, myself. More strength there than I ever would have believed.

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  3. So lovely. Keats' idea of negative capability! My guiding philosophy in life. XO (alison)

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    1. Alison, you've mentioned this before, although I can't remember when. I don't know a lot about negative capability, but what I know is intriguing. Thank you for stretching me/taking me beyond these thoughts.

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  4. I agree about the power, Karen. Especially the delicate spring green. There is something so powerful about a flimsy little leaf that can push it's way out of a bud and grow and grow until it and its brothers change the entire way the world looks. All without ever being hard or strong. Really, it's a lovely image. Thank you for it.

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    1. Thank you for that image, too! This is what's so awesome when you guys leave comments like this--you help me see more there, myself. I love that back and forth!

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